Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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