She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He shit in the fireplace
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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