..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
