So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
and i looked up. we had an audience...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
