How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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