singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
