I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
