I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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