My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
