I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
