I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
