i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Your tits are I can't wait for
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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