And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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