You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
