i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
