I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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