Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
