How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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