It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
