Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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