so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
and she was petting her beer can
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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