do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
