I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
