apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
