Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
