Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
