I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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