just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
tell me about the fingering
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