Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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