What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
