need another drink. this is the easiest way
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
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