i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Randomize