You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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