I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
