ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
