Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
