i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
