(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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