I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
