tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
being pregnant is like rehab
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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