ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
