I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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