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too bad you live with your parents still
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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