I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
