I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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