You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
