I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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