hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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