My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
It's no shave November. This is our time.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
