Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
