So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
