Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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