butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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