i just google imaged poop.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
