guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
