I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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