Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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